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I regret to report that my enemies have escalated their campaign.

This morning, a tiny operative infiltrated my porch disguised as an innocent child who wished only to “play dress-up.”

I lowered my guard.

It was a tactical error.

Moments later I found myself wearing a red polka-dot dress…

…and a tiara.

A tiara.

With polka dots.

Any goose with even a passing acquaintance with fashion knows those accessories belong to entirely different emotional journeys.

I can only conclude this miniature agent was dispatched by my nemesis in Gi Gi’s Crossing in a desperate attempt to undermine my credibility before my upcoming hearing.

They may control the wardrobe.

They will never control the narrative.

P.S. For the record, the tiara wasn’t even centered.

— Miss Dirty Birdie